360
by Ewen lover
Summary: My second try at a Moulin Rouge Spoof. Please read and write a review!
1. Default Chapter

Ok here's my own twist on the movie, and it's a pretty big twist. Like 360 , no wait you would end up right were you started from... And I wonder why I'm not passing math class. Back to the subject anyways this is completely different from the Chicago you've all seen, and that's because I'm in the Moulin Rouge category. I'm have a lot of blonde movement today, sorry about that. But haven't we all gone to a pizza parlor and ordered a hamburger?....I'm alone on that aren't I? So here's my second shot.  
  
But I don't own any of the people, Baz does. So don't get me in any kinda trouble. On with the Show!  
  
Shorty sing–ish:  
  
There was a whore  
  
A very odd and slutty whore  
  
They say she would go very far, very far  
  
For a man that payed  
  
For him self to get laid  
  
But very mean was she...  
  
And then one day  
  
One scary day  
  
She passed a gay  
  
And while she wanted many things  
  
money and me  
  
This she told me...  
  
Turn him gay  
  
Or make him go away.  
  
Christian talking to himself: The Moulin Rouge... a place you could pay to get laid, but not me of corse I... It was ruled over by Harry Zidler, who was gay so were's the benefits in that? Were the horny and ugly came to play with there own kind. The most lovely and slutty of these women was the women I loved, Satine, a hooker. She sold herself to old men. They called her "Expensive", and she was. The women I loved is gone. No she's not dead, she just ran away with the pool boy. I first cam to Paris one year ago. It was the summer of...coldness. I where coats throughout the whole thing. That was before I even knew what hookers were, that you had to pay for them, and that on Monday was 99¢ day at McDonald's. My town kick me out because Rush Limboge came back and they don't need me to be their idiot any more. And Paris was just like my father had said...  
  
Father Dude: A place of total sin.  
  
Christian: That didn't seem to bother anyone. Yes I had come to live a loveless life, so I thought to film a documentary so bad it would have to air on HBO.  
  
Father Dude: always this ridiculous obsession with Sex and the City!  
  
Christian: There was only one problem... I didn't have a camera! Luckily, a drunk man fell through my rough. And he was joined by some cross dresser.  
  
Shorty: Hello, my name is...Oh who cares. Just come up stairs I don't think I should have to say all this crap.  
  
Christian: What the Fuck?  
  
Christina talking to himself: Something very weird called "Expensive, Expensive".  
  
Shorty: And it's set in...Paris!  
  
Christina: apparently the drunk suffered from a disease call... death.  
  
Shorty: He was perfectly fine one moment, besides the coughing and the blue face and the falling.  
  
Shorty's sister: Great now who will play the part of a man obsessed with Sex and the City? It will never be done in time for tomorrow.  
  
Bladly #1: remember about our date tonight Shorty.  
  
Shorty: Oh let me play him! Let me!  
  
Sister: But what man likes Sex and the City?  
  
Christina still talking to himself: Before I knew it I was upstairs trying a Marc Jacob shoes.  
  
Shorty sing (cover your ears): alkjdflkajsdflaksjdlakjdfklueicxkmsklajdf—   
  
Sister: Shut up!  
  
Man with beard: I don't think a Midget would sing about a hill. Wouldn't he consider this a mountain.  
  
Then they all start arguing about what they should sing about while Shorty steals some shoes for blady #1 and 2. Until Christina opens his mouth.  
  
Christina sing: I am not Julie Andrews–   
  
Sister: While I might as well leave now.  
  
Shorty: I'll finally be able to get my very own whore!  
  
Baldy: what about us? I thought what we had was special!  
  
Shorty:... So you will write the show!  
  
Christian: Why even bother to fight it.  
  
They all thought it was the perfect plan just because... well I'm not sure but for some reason they think Harry will like it. So they all got drunk and go to the Moulin Rouge. Where it will finially get funny.  
  
Well there is my second try at making a Moulin Rouge spoof. I know right now it's boring but wasn't the first part of the movie the worst? I promise once they do actually get to the Moulin Rouge it get's better. So Please review what you think, good or bad, I need to hear it. But please don't make it to harse. Please! Any way if you like this one or are just really board, go read my other story in the Sex and the City section. Yes I'm a fan!  
  
Oh and I don't own any of these people. They all belong to Baz again and the Sex and the City stuff to HBO. So don't report me for nothn'!  
  
Peace out and write a review!!!!!!!!! please:) 


	2. Expensive

Well I got one review, I guess I'm doing alright. Any way here's chapter 2 which is a lot better now that Satine is now coming into the story. But please enjoy and then write a review!  
  
O and I don't own any one here and don't want to get people to sue me and stuff...yeah so...ON with the Show!!!  
  
Christina and all those other people are now arriving at the Moulin Rouge, where Christina will first meet Satine. And Shorty will give his boyfriends the Marc Jacob shoes he stole. And action!!!!  
  
Christina talking to himself: We had gone to the Moulin Rouge, were I was supposed to convince Satine that not only was I not Julie Andrews, but I should write stuff for "Expensive, Expensive".  
  
Harry Zidler: I own the Moulin Rouge... And I gay! Any takers???  
  
Christina: Harry Zidler and his sisters, he call them...Money.  
  
Money sing:  
  
Come on will you sleep with me  
  
I've got some fine wine ant tea  
  
Cause we are the Money–   
  
Harry:   
  
You can, can, can  
  
Give into your desires  
  
If you don't your hired  
  
pay a little bit  
  
get a little bit  
  
You can, can, can  
  
Crowd of old men dancing funny: We can, can, can  
  
Harry:  
  
You can!! I think?  
  
Old men:   
  
Here we are now  
  
Our wives hate us  
  
Will pay you  
  
If you pay us  
  
Shorty: Hey we got a table...Oh look it's Expensive!  
  
Satine/ Expensive sing:  
  
You French aren't glad to pay  
  
For plays  
  
Christina interrupting the song: But someone else had paid to see Satine that night...  
  
Satine:  
  
But they prefer..  
  
Christina: Harry's rich Uncle  
  
Satine:  
  
To get laid!  
  
Christina: The Mouse  
  
Satine:  
  
To show every man may be quite low and resentful  
  
but I just want to put on play  
  
To show ain't that grand  
  
but it pays the rental  
  
on this pitiful flat  
  
And it's owned by one of you rats  
  
Men are old  
  
And I'm real bold  
  
but we all lose our bod in the end  
  
But big bust or pancakes  
  
I haven't lost my shape  
  
Expensive is a guys best friend!  
  
Shorty: Ironic isn't it?  
  
Satine:  
  
TIFFANY!  
  
Mouse: So when do I get cheese?  
  
Harry: After she gets her close back on I've arranged for you to too meet...She might have cheese in her room.  
  
Satine:  
  
CARTIER!!  
  
Shorty: After she gets her close back on I've arranged for you to too meet totally alone!  
  
Christina smiling : Alone?  
  
Shorty: A.... yeah I just said that. Oh and remember, talk about Sex and the City and don't look like Julie Andrews– which means you can't were your nun outfit.  
  
Christina: Darn!  
  
Satine back to sing:  
  
Cause we are living in an unmoral world  
  
And I had morals as a girl!  
  
Old men: Gasp!   
  
Satine:  
  
....Black Starts??  
  
Mouse called..  
  
Talk to me Harry Zidler tell me what he said  
  
There may come a time when a girl needs a change  
  
Zidler:  
  
But gentlemen prefer a G string–   
  
Satine no longer sing and confused: Harry, that the Producers— this is Moulin Rough you idiot.  
  
Satine:...  
  
There may come a time when Harry  
  
forgets his  
  
Harry:  
  
Lines  
  
Satine:  
  
So make sur the Producers don't fine  
  
Meanwhile Shorty Spills wine on Mouse Man and tries to clean him up...  
  
Shorty: Don't worry love I've got Windex! Here hold my napkin.  
  
Then we go back to Satine whom is with Zidler.  
  
Satine: Is the Mouse here yet?  
  
Harry: Yes!  
  
Satine: And what about the exterminator?  
  
Harry:... He's right over there.  
  
Satine: What?  
  
Harry: You know, the guy holding th napkin. (pointing to Christina who just blew his nose)  
  
Satine: Are you sure? He doesn't even look like a mouse... In fact he looks like Julie Andrew's brother.  
  
Satine: Will he by me some actually clothes and/or invest?  
  
Harry: How could he not after tonight, besides I've got a hit man on call.  
  
Satine: We'll what's his type???  
  
Harry: Well, he likes cheese an awful lot. You better not screw up— remember the cheese, and you'll be..  
  
Satine: Able to leave and get a real job.  
  
Satine singing:  
  
Cause I'm sick of louses  
  
So I've moved on to mouses  
  
Expensive is a guy's best friend!  
  
Satine is carried over to Christina who is trying to hide his nun–ish voice.  
  
Satine: Let's get this over with. Ok so what do you wan to do to night, and remember your paying by the hour. We don't except credit cards or debt cards, we do except cash and checks. Or you can open an account for $100 dollars a month, with this you'll have add bonuses. You can also rack up frequent kinky miles. So what will it be?  
  
Christina: Actually I was hoping I didn't have to pay for anything. It won't take long I promise.  
  
Satine: You mean for free?   
  
Christina: Yes, if that's alright.  
  
Satine: Oh I feel sick. (Satine faits and is carried away)  
  
So what do you think? It's not all that good but please write a review!! I'll I've gotten was one review.   
  
I don't mean to afend anyone I'm just trying to write a story and I don't own any of these people and don't want Hbo, Baz, Julie Andrews, or gay people to get mad at me. So don't get me in any sort of bad thing..ish.  
  
Please write a review!! 


End file.
